From the Rabbi


To bring a smile to all the moms, grandmothers,

daughters, aunts, sisters and other wonderful women

of TBC! 

* I asked my wife what she'd like for Mother's Day & she said for me to
drive 7 hours east with the kids & then turn around & come back.
* Moms will clean up everything. Scientists have proven that a Mom’s spit is the exact chemical composition of Formula 409. Mom’s spit on a Kleenex - you get rust off a bumper with that.
* There’s a debate about when a fetus is considered a real person. For Jewish mothers, it’s not until the child enters medical school.
* HUB: Want to go on a hot date for Mother's Day?
WIFE: Sure! Will you watch the kids?

* Every Mothers Day I stop by and visit my mother’s grave, just to make sure she hasn’t moved.
* Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
* My kids brought me breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day: an Egg McMuffin. I was just relieved that I wouldn’t have to clean the kitchen.
* I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property." * I called my mother up when they announced I had won the Nobel Prize. She said, "That's nice — and

when are you coming to see me next?
* Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
* If you feel tense and get a headache, follow the instructions on the bottle of aspirin: Take two tablets

and keep away from children.
* No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.
* Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
* I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
* Labor is not as bad as it’s cracked up to be. Sure, it hurts like hell. But then it’s over. What you should

really worry about are the next eighteen years—they’re painful in a much slower way, like peeling a

huge adhesive bandage off your brain, cell by cell.
* Making the decision to have a child - it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go

walking around outside your body.
* An ounce of mother is worth a ton of clergy.

Happy Mother’s Day!!!

Rabbi Rhonda Nebel